so turns out the guy who discovered uranus originally wanted to name it “george”
just. imagine a planet called George
mercury venus earth mars jupiter saturn GEORGE
i had to fact check this and its fucking true
rn in the universe where that happened: “when George was discovered they wanted to name it URANUS”
am i the only one that feels 2014 doesn’t even sound real
"mom im bleeding"
“oh sweetie there’s no need to be worried that’s just a sign that you’re becoming a woman”
“thank god, i was really starting to get worried about this axe in my shoulder”
How many altos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they can’t get that high.
How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, she holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
How many singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. An alto to actually do it and a soprano to stand by and ask “isn’t that a little high for you?”
u wanna fucking go
i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
never let your printer know that you waited until the last minute to print something and you’re in a hurry. they can sense fear
These are the kinds of kids that are going to change the world.